Walk your own path

We’re all here to walk our own unique path. My path is different from yours, and yours different from mine. What lessons are you here to learn? I do not know, and neither do you know the ones that are exclusively mine.

But we judge. We judge each other and we judge ourselves. I compare you to me and you compare yourself to others.

How can she do that? I’m never going to get this! Why would he marry her? My career actually helps people. She’s selfish!

As we judge and we compare, we stuff ourselves in a box. And in that box, we lose our ability to be. We lose what makes us human – our compassion and empathy and love for self, him and her. We put on our judgments and comparisons and wear them like tight-fitting garments that restrict our ability to breathe. We alter our dream to gain favour. We change our style to fit in. We hold back on our words to contain furor. And sooner or later, our path becomes “theirs”.

Perhaps your path is carved out of addiction, leaving a toxic partner or chasing that dream the world says you’re absolutely insane to pursue.

Your struggle is your opportunity.

Maybe your path inspires the guy down the street to leave his addiction behind. Maybe you inspire the woman at your book club to admit for the first time her relationship is unhealthy. Maybe you running after that absolutely insane dream inspires your son to become an astronaut when he grows up. Maybe you just INSPIRE. Who am I or you to judge that?

No one knows what your path looks like. Your steps – your twists, your turns, your pace – make up your journey. And it’s your journey. How are you going to walk it?

© Fazeena Haniff and Live with Integrity Blog, 2014-2016.

A blog reawakening: Lessons in letting go and learning to love uncertainty

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~ E.E. Cummings

This blog has been sleeping for a little over a year. Those best kept intentions (i.e., the one I had about continuing this blog after the course for which it was created ended) sometimes get put on hold when life takes turns in directions you don’t quite expect.

I had little time to write in 2015, because I spent a majority of 2015 letting go. Choosing to let go, in fact. It was the major theme of my life for the last year. I was letting go on steroids. And… it was empowering and liberating. Courageous and brave. Yet, incredibly confusing, frightening and stressful – even though it was my choice! I was letting go of so much of what I had known; I felt like I was floating in an abyss of uncertainty. That’s not an easy thing for anyone, let alone someone who thrives on strategy and planning! There were some really low moments that gave way to some serious contemplation.

A life reset
In July of last year, I made a really difficult decision to leave the job and organization I had been with for nearly eight years. There was a time where I would never fathom leaving the organization. It was a special place and I felt like I grew up there, learned so much and made incredible connections with incredible people. I credit that organization and time in my life for enabling me to build a foundation for self-discovery, fear-busting and exploring my calling. I left it with a tremendous amount of gratitude, satisfaction and accomplishment.

My decision to leave was one that had been brewing for some time. I had spent the previous four years engaging in personal development and leadership training at work and outside of work. The funny thing about personal change is that the more you learn about yourself and become more confident in who you are within, the more you start to question the things in your life outside yourself. I didn’t realize how much I had changed until I started feeling out of sync with my work. I wanted more challenge. I wanted more opportunities to grow. I wanted to do something different. I wanted to make a meaningful difference.

Living a dream?
There are many people who dream about leaving their jobs. Maybe you’re one of them. I lost count of the amount of times people have said to me, “You’re living a dream!” And I guess yes, to some extent that’s true. But in all honesty, it hasn’t felt very dreamy. There is A LOT of emotional guck that comes with making such a huge decision. Mind you, and I won’t get into specifics, I left in one of the best ways a person could leave their job. My life’s circumstances allowed me to afford the opportunity, as well as time to make thoughtful decisions about next steps. That is an incredible gift. But the emotional rollercoaster that followed? No way could I have predicted that!

Being able to take some time off led to more letting go. Letting go of old ways of doing things, how I view work and career, expectations of where I should be at this point in my life (mine and society’s), concepts of time, old patterns and limiting beliefs, and the list goes on. All that letting go created more uncertainty and a lot of anxiety, but also… a blank canvas. And how awesome is that?

Letting go of people
One of the hardest lessons in letting go I had to learn had to do with people. When you’re making major changes in your life, you have to surround yourself with people who genuinely, deeply support you. There will be days when you feel like you’re losing your mind – when doubt creeps in and gets the best of you. And it will happen over and over – even when you think you’ve outmaneuvered it. On those days, you need people who truly believe in you and have your back. Those ones who will give you their shoulder to lean on and who won’t mind wiping your tears (and boogers – yes, that’s the level of support I’m talking about!).

When you speak up or choose to make big changes in your life, you will encounter people who are not supportive. Some will never understand your decisions, and that’s OK; however, those people who are for you will respect you for your decisions even if they never understand them. Those who don’t, can’t or won’t respect you: LET THEM GO. They are more concerned about being right than being your friend. Wish them well (they need it) and walk away. You need people who want to help build you up – not those who endeavour to cut you down.

Embracing uncertainty
I’ve been a little all over the place in this post, and that’s kind of how the last several months have been for me. I’m riding the wave of uncertainty and while I’ve wiped out a few times, I’m learning to get back up and enjoy it. I envision this blog reawakening to be about transition; it’s what I know right now, and I think it’s key to living a life of integrity – letting go to grow, evolving, and seeking ways to become better and to serve others. These are all topics I want to delve into, while saving room for those things that uncertainty bubbles up. I hope you will continue to join me through the highs and lows of this journey, and that some part of my story helps you make sense of yours.

© Fazeena Haniff and Live with Integrity Blog, 2014-2016.

Integrity in the age of social media

I’ve been contemplating what integrity means in the age of social media. In my own life, I’ve been somewhat reluctant to open social media accounts.

I like a certain amount of privacy. The rate at which people overshare does not entice me. In other words, regular status updates about bowel movements, and the Kardashians, have not been encouraging.

We have been witness to celebrities’ social media meltdowns, as well as public shaming through social media.

Sadly, “cyberbullying” has become a commonly referenced term and something that has warranted numerous awareness campaigns and real estate on law enforcement websites. Overall, there seems to be a heightened level of meanness that abounds the social media sphere, and it feels strange to be a spectator to all of this.

On top of that, we’ve become so connected; it’s almost like an addiction. We’ve seen in our own lives how the way we communicate has changed. What will the long-term impact of the shift in the way we communicate be to human development? As a side note: over the years, I have received fewer and fewer birthday calls, and I don’t think I realized how important those calls were to me until they were becoming replaced more and more by text messages and tweets. Don’t get me wrong – I am entirely grateful for being remembered with a birthday greeting in whatever form, but I miss the connection that comes from the human voice!

Despite my resistance to social media, I have come to appreciate that it’s not going anywhere. In fact, it’s becoming more and more of the way to do business and reach people. It’s sort of a world that floats around us parallel to our physical world. I’ve been thinking about how I want to present myself in that world and I’ve been realizing that it’s not significantly different from how I aim to present myself in my day-to-day, non-digital life.

Below are some of the things I’ve learned and observed. I guess in totality you can call it something of a “personal social media constitution”.

Like with all things, there are negatives and positives. I’ve highlighted what I see as some of the negative aspects of social media in this post. On the other hand, I have to acknowledge how easy social media has made it to find and share information, it’s ability to bring news to our devices in real time, and how it’s contributed to raising the profile of worthy causes like this past summer’s hugely successful Ice Bucket Challenge.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. As I said earlier, I feel like social media has made it easier for people to up their level of mean. Not having a person in front of us can make us feel more powerful to say just whatever it is we want; however, the people we may be sending messages to or posting about are people. If we wouldn’t say whatever we want to say to them face-to-face, why do it at all? When in doubt, it’s a good practice to check in with ourselves and notice how we would feel on the receiving end of a comment before posting it.

Set boundaries. Here are a few questions I’ve asked myself:

• How much time do I want to spend on social media? I generally try to take a physical break from my phone and computer from 6 p.m. on each night. I admit I’ve been a little lax with this recently, especially since I started blogging :). Overall though, taking a regularly scheduled break helps prevent that constant need to check my social media feeds.
• What interactions am I willing to have through social media? I got to a point where I felt I needed to tell certain people in my life how important traditional human communication is to me and that, for example, I wanted them to call me for my birthday, meet for lunch/dinner/coffee to catch up, have certain types of conversations in person or over the phone, etc.
• What am I willing to share through social media? This is about privacy and how we choose to present ourselves. I don’t post many pictures of myself or my family and I don’t divulge an extensive amount of information about myself or my life online. Having said that, this is my personal choice and everyone is entitled to choose what works best for them.

If you wouldn’t want it to come back to haunt you should you run for political office, don’t post it. Enough said.

Check your facts. Anyone can post anything on social media, and unfortunately this means there are people out there who aim for maximum shock value and sensationalism to drive traffic and gain followers. Before we share facts with our followers, like any good publisher, we have a responsibility to ensure we’ve verified them and that they’re accurate.

Follow/unfollow. We can all choose to follow what people and organizations we want to follow. If we consistently don’t like what someone or some organization is feeding us, we can easily unfollow, unfriend, or whatever un- is available for the particular social network we’re using. It’s powerful stuff and one way to consciously choose the information we want to engage with – just as we would be careful in selecting our friends and relationships.

I turn it over to you. What kinds of things have you contemplated about the digital realm? Are there certain practices you engage in in your social media interactions?

My click-a-day habit

In the early 2000s, I discovered The Hunger Site. It’s a website that allows you to – with a click-a-day (and I guess now also a tap-of-a-finger) – donate food to the hungry all around the world for free.

The site was set up by GreaterGood, founded in 1999 by Tim Kunin and Greg Hesterberg to provide “easy online ways to help people, animals, and the planet.” Since its inception, GreaterGood has given over $30 million to nonprofit charities globally. Over the years, GreaterGood expanded its Click-to-Give program to support a variety of causes with the following sites:

• The Breast Cancer Site
• The Animal Rescue Site
• The Veterans Site
• The Autism Site
• The Alzheimer’s Site
• The Diabetes Site
• The Literacy Site
• The Rainforest Site

In addition to Click-to-Give, each site links to GreaterGood stores, where a portion of purchases goes to one of the causes of the buyer’s choosing. One-hundred per cent of sponsor advertising fees goes to charitable partners.

It’s really amazing what GreaterGood has achieved and how it’s grown to support so many worthy causes. Forbes profiled GreaterGood, including its work and operations in an article titled “How To Fund 141 Nonprofits At Once” this past summer.

I invite you to join me to develop your own click-a-day habit.

Tip: Clicks are tracked by cookies, so only one click per site will count per day. In other words, clicking 100 times in a day won’t amount to giving more. To maximize your click-to-giving, click at home, at work, and on your smartphone. 😉

Hello there, [insert fear/insecurity]. I’d like to get to know you.

Our fears and insecurities have whatever power we give them. They lose their power, however, when we face them, head-on. I don’t advocate that this is an easy path – it most certainly is not. What it is though is an incredibly rewarding endeavour that serves to empower us and strengthen our character.

Just as we draw upon our strengths to help us to reach our goals and achieve our dreams, we can also draw upon our fears and insecurities to learn more about who we are in support of our pursuit of those goals and dreams.

When we take a good look at our fears and insecurities, we learn what they’re made of. And actually, we learn what we’re made of. We learn that we are the creators of our own fears and insecurities, and as such, we have the intrinsic ability to change them.

Having been on the path of personal development for some time now, I’ve learned that fears and insecurities don’t fully go away. Old ones morph. New ones emerge. Accepting that makes life a little easier.

What I’m grateful for is that in facing my own fears and insecurities, I’ve gained insight into what triggers them, how I act when I’m triggered (the answer would be irrationally), what support I need when I’m feeling fearful or insecure, and most importantly, being able to communicate this with the people in my life to enhance my relationships.

Here are some other benefits to getting to know our fears and insecurities:

• Resolve conflict more effectively. When we know what our triggers are and how we behave when we’re triggered, we can better understand our role in a conflict. We can use this information to open up a dialogue and work towards a resolution.
• Prevent self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is a by-product of fear and insecurity. When we become knowledgeable of our fears and insecurities, we’ll be less likely to trip ourselves up.
• Enhance resilience. When we face our fears and insecurities, we become stronger and we own our power. We exercise our ability to overcome obstacles and achieve success.
• Live more fully. Fears and insecurities constrain us. Facing them gives us the opportunity to live life more fully and freely, and with enthusiasm!

Have you taken on a fear or insecurity lately? What did you learn? Share your insights in the comments below.

Be the change – part 4: It’s all in the how

In my last post, I told you the story of how I contacted a municipality about a frustrating intersection and how taking action resulted in a left-turn advance signal being installed to make the intersection function better.

I firmly believe that it was how I raised the issue in the email I sent to the municipality that led to the signal being installed. I say that, because I’ve achieved similar results by using the same approach when raising other issues. Here’s the secret:

It’s all about “What’s in it for me?”

When I decided to email the municipality, there was a part of me that just wanted to vent. But what would venting have achieved? In this case, the person reading the email would probably say, “Hah! This person is just upset, because she missed her train. Next!”

Instead, when I sat down to write the email, I didn’t mention the fact that I missed the train that morning. I focused on the issue from the perspective of the municipality:

• Knowing that the municipality would care about traffic flow, I highlighted the traffic backup that was occurring on a daily basis.
• Knowing the municipality would care about people’s safety, I talked about the risks I had seen people take just to turn into the train station with haste to park and catch the train.
• Knowing the municipality had to make careful, thought-out decisions in cash-strapped times, I requested a study of the intersection be done instead of demanding a signal be installed.

After this experience, I have developed a bit of a reputation for being a “chronic letter writer”. And I’m OK with that. Some might even call it “chronic complaining”, but I’d argue with that (In a letter! Kidding! :)). The way I look at it is this – if something is bothering me, I have two choices:

1. I can do something about it, or
2. I stop complaining and live with it, because I’ve chosen to forgo 1.

It’s impossible for organizations (public sector and private sector) to know all about everything, and if saying something can make a process/product/service better, why not? What is there to lose? What instead can be gained?

If there’s something in your community, an organization or a product or service you use that’s been causing you some grief and you’re not quite sure how to raise it or you did, but didn’t quite get the results you wanted, here’s an approach you might want to consider:

1. First decide if this is a rant or an actual attempt to bring about a change. Be honest with yourself. If it’s the former, talk to your spouse, call a friend or go for a run. If it’s the latter, start thinking about “What’s in it for me?” from the perspective of who you’re raising the issue with. Organizations get tons of rants; you want your attempt to bring about change to get careful thought and not just a simple “thank you for your feedback” response.

2. Get to know the organization you’re raising the issue with. Do some research and understand the organization’s business, goals and mission. Your feedback to the organization should tie back to those pieces. By speaking the organization’s language, you increase the chances of receiving a response and action being taken. Also, find out what department or person you should be contacting, so that your feedback ends up in the right hands, right away.

3, Lay out the feedback in parallel with what the organization would gain from implementing it. This is about creating a win-win situation. Each request you make should have a resulting benefit for the organization. Use the information you gathered from your research in 1. The bulleted list above is an example.

4. Be clear about the action or outcome you want. “I’m not happy with your service” does not tell the organization what you want. Be specific about what you want to see changed and what you want the organization to do. If you want a process to be reviewed, say you want a process to be reviewed. Clearly stating the outcome you want, increases the chances that you’ll get it.

5. Be patient. Responses take time, especially if your feedback entails, for example, a traffic study like in my left-turn advance signal story. You may also not get a response in the timeframe an email auto-response says you will – I don’t agree with that and don’t think it’s good business, but it’s reality.

6. Accept that sometimes the organization won’t take action. It sucks, but it happens. Don’t let it discourage you from raising another issue with the same organization or another organization at some other point.

7. Celebrate when you make things happen. Cause get what? That’s how change happens. Small steps, over time, lead to big shifts!

Now go forth and effect change!

Be the change – part 3: How missing a train led me to effect change

One morning four years ago, I missed my train heading in to work.

I had just come back from a fun five-day trip in Miami, and needless to say, I was having a hard time getting out of bed.

While I hadn’t left my house excessively late that morning, it was late enough that I knew I would probably end up stuck trying to make a left turn into the train station. Increased ridership and heavier traffic due to development in the area had led to a left-turn line that had grown consistently over the course of the three years I had been commuting by train. It had become nearly impossible to turn into the station on a green light, with only a few vehicles being able to turn on an amber signal.

I can tell you, there is nothing more frustrating than watching the train pull into the station while sitting in that left-turn queue! I mean, it’s one thing getting stuck in traffic some ways away, and getting to the station five minutes after the train departs. But when you’re right there – so, so very close – watching the train pull in… well, UGH!!!

If you’re like me, you know that sometimes these moments turn into anger. I wanted to blame the traffic light and the people controlling it for me missing the train that morning. Really, I was angry at myself for leaving the house late.

My frustration that morning though was enough for me to ask myself, “What could be done to make this intersection function better?”

I had been frustrated for some time with this intersection. Every morning I left the house, I’d wonder if that stupid line would be so stupidly long again. It was a point of anxiety for me and for other commuters at the train station.

That day, I decided to take action.

I did some research online and found the municipality responsible for the intersection. I found the appropriate department and contact information and I fired off an email.

Like most places of business, I received an automated response telling me that I’d hear back from someone in three business days. Those three business days turned into a week, that week turned into weeks, weeks turned into a month, and finally almost two months later, I received a response…

Municipality email: “This is in response to your concern regarding the above captioned issue.”

My reaction: “It’s about damn time!”

Municipality email: “Staff have completed the necessary studies and we offer the following comments.”

My reaction: “Huh? Studies completed already?”

Municipality email: “Although the volume of westbound left turning vehicles was not considered to be excessive, it was noted that long vehicle queues, at times, backed up past the westbound left turn storage lane blocking the westbound through lane.”

My reaction: “Mmmmhmmm…”

Municipality email: “The results indicate that a better level of service of operation for westbound left turn movement and the intersection as a whole could be achieved by adding a westbound left turn phase.”

My reaction: “OH! OH!”

Municipality email: “Based on the above information, we will implement a westbound advance left turn phase at the intersection.”

My reaction: “What?!?” as I ran out of my office jumping up and down telling any co-worker that would listen that “I effected change!”

The left-turn advance signal was implemented six weeks after I received the municipality’s response. Vehicles move through the intersection with much greater ease and there’s a whole lot less traffic congestion and anxiety getting to the train station.

This became something of a touchstone moment for me, because it helped me to see that taking action can create a positive change in the community. The left-turn advance was going to make all our lives a little easier (even if in just the tiniest sense).

What I also learned through this experience is that effecting change is not just about speaking out and taking action – it’s more about how we do so. This will be the subject of my next post.

Stay tuned for the final part of Be the Change.

Be the change – part 2: Go out and vote!

Tomorrow – Monday, October 27, 2014 – is election day in Toronto, Brampton, London, Barrie, Ottawa and pretty much every other city and town in Ontario.

It’s a day many have been waiting for. Will the soap opera of the Ford reign come to an end? I don’t have to provide a hyperlink on this one. Everyone in the world knows what I mean!

Will Brampton see a change in leadership with Mayor Susan Fennell caught in quite the spending scandal? What is it that they say? Fool me once, it’s your fault. Fool me twice, it’s mine. Fool me a possible 200+ times?

After 36 years of being mayor of Mississauga, who will replace the unstoppable Hazel McCallion, now retiring at the age of 93? Talk about persistence and determination (and being blessed with good health)!

These are only some of the questions that will be answered tomorrow, and for those of us in Ontario, we can be part of what exactly those answers turn out to be. All we have to do is go out and vote! It’s one of the easiest ways we can have our say and be the change, choosing leaders we feel have the best plan, attitude and interests of our city/town at heart.

Being a political nerd, I’ve had many debates with many people about politicians, political parties and elections. I know how easy it is to become disengaged, apathetic and desensitized by politicians who get involved in scandals and demonstrate a lack of accountability and integrity. I also know that if we don’t vote, we give up our voice, our choice. Why complain when things aren’t working out?

Voting is one of our most fundamental democratic rights. In many parts of the world, we have seen people risk their lives, and sadly, lose their lives, to gain the right to vote. We have seen people on the news who are willing to die for the right to vote – to have a say! Many of us will not know or cannot fathom what it’s like to live in such a place of desperation, because we don’t have to. Because people before us fought for that right, preserved that right. All we have to do is take our voter registration card to our nearest voting station and exercise our right.

If you don’t know who to vote for, check out your city or town’s website. It will have a section dedicated to voting, a list of candidates and more information about them, and places and times you can vote.

If you need more reasons on why you should vote, Elections Canada has compiled a simple list on its website.

May the best candidates win!

Be the change – part 1

Yesterday, all eyes were on Canada as we watched the shocking attack that took place on our nation’s capital. We had never before experienced something of this magnitude on Canadian soil, and for many of us, it was simply surreal.

It’s too early to know what the full impact of yesterday’s events will have on our nation; though, it feels like something has changed. Like we have arrived at a crossroads of sorts. Do we choose to live in fear? Do we allow ourselves to be intimidated? Do we give up certain freedoms to be safe?

I work in downtown Toronto, each day travelling to Canada’s largest city by commuter train into Union Station, the busiest public transit hub in Canada. Do I worry for my safety? Should I be anxious about who I’m sitting or standing beside? I feel safer seeing law enforcement and extra security on the streets and in our subways, but do we want this to be our new, permanent reality?

I know I’m not alone in asking these questions.

View of CN Tower in downtown Toronto.

How we choose to react, in the aftermath of yesterday’s events, as a nation, and as individuals privileged to live in our great country, will undoubtedly alter the fabric of our nation, for better or worse.

What I know is that I don’t want what happened yesterday to make us forget that there is good in our country and in our world.

I don’t want us to forget that we can also do our part to be part of that good.

The late author and poet Maya Angelou once said,

“Someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally into you.”

Every word of appreciation we say, every word of encouragement we speak, every word of comfort we bestow adds to the good of our world, even in times of upheaval and uncertainty. I’d say even more so in these times.

This morning, as part of my organization’s United Way campaign launch, a young man came in to speak to us about the impact the United Way has had on his family. He described the sudden horrific health emergency his mother experienced 20 years ago, and how in an instant, his life as a 10-year-old was turned upside down. He then went on to tell us, with tremendous appreciation, about the incredible support his family received from numerous United Way partner organizations that were funded by donations from people like you and me. On this somewhat somber-feeling day, this young man’s story reminded me that it doesn’t take much for any of us to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

I leave you with a video of 7-year-old Caiden Perez, whose story I heard about on Toronto’s G98.7 radio station during its daily morning feature called “Feel Good Moment of the Day”. The “Feel Good Moment of the Day” is G98.7’s way of sharing positive and inspiring stories amidst the seemingly non-stop flow of fear- and stress-inducing news and information we see in the media each day. Let this video be a small reminder that good is alive and well in the world.

Express yourself: What a recurring dream about dirty public bathrooms was trying to tell me

For years I had been having a similar recurring dream.

I would enter a public bathroom and there would be rows and rows of stalls as if I were in a maze. Yet despite how many stalls there were and how many I opened, I just couldn’t find a clean one. And I had to go!

Each time I had this dream, I would wake up scratching my head, wondering what the hell this dream was trying to tell me. It obviously had to be something, because why would I be dreaming the same thing over and over again?

I was seeing a life coach in 2011. And in one of our sessions, the topic of dreams came up. My life coach explained to me that dreams is the unconscious’ way of communicating with us (very Carl Jung!). I told her about my recurring dirty bathroom dream and she laughed. Not what I expected, but she went on to tell me that it was a common recurring dream that had a very simple meaning: I was struggling to express myself. I needed a very specific environment in which I felt safe enough to express. Interesting.

I thought about it for a few seconds. I wasn’t too sure what she was talking about. I had always been very opinionated with my family and friends, so I wasn’t quite sure that was it.

My life coach pointed out that yes, from what she gathered, I was opinionated on many topics, but she questioned how I handled the hard stuff. I.e., the stuff that requires courageous conversations. The stuff that requires vulnerability. Eeeeek!

I had always thought of vulnerability as weakness. I didn’t like feeling mushy much. The thought of any conversation where tears could happen gave me nausea.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my life coach was right. I had taken detours to avoid conversations that required courage and emotion (other than anger – I was pretty OK with anger!).

I didn’t really know how I was going to tackle what I had just learned.

I started out with one courageous conversation with one of my closest friends about how I felt our friendship had changed and the impact it was having on me. When I saw that the conversation, (as uncomfortable and difficult as it felt for both of us), cleared the air between us and transformed our friendship for the better, I knew I could do it again. And I did. Over and over again.

Over and over again turned into being able and OK to cry in front of people without shame or fear and even an improv class earlier this year!

I’ve learned that vulnerability is an incredibly powerful, freeing and beautiful thing, and I can’t see my life or living a life of integrity without it.

American scholar and research professor Brené Brown sums up the power of vulnerability and courageous conversations in this clip:

You may be wondering whether I still have the dream. Well, I do still. Except there’s one big plot change: I no longer have trouble finding a place to “go”.

If you’re interested in hearing more from Brené Brown, her 2010 TEDx Houston talk on vulnerability is a must-see. It’s a bit long, but totally worth it!